self introspection and ‘My experiments with truth’

There has been some issues  hindering my work for quite sometime.  With the help of teachings/realizations from oneness and ‘http://jkrishnamurti.org/index.php‘ I was able to constantly get over it. But suddenly I was confused again whether the current direction would lead anywhere and remained in it hoping I would get someone to guide.

I used to get guidance from Harish Krishnaswamy w.r.t directions related to my work and later after he left, used to seek my mother’s guiadance though she has no real idea of software industry. She usually gets answers through her prayers and they have served flawlessly when I outght to make some critical decisions. Though I would just get to know only ‘yes or no’ from her. Sometimes my reasoning will coincide with her answer and many times it wont. Later in time I would be surprised to see the reason behind her answer. At times it would be comical to look back on my reasoning  foolishness. This has constantly led me to renounce my thoughts and take no credit for my action. [i have some discussions with other people, but i will omit them as they are co-workers atm]

Many a times, there has been a quite a lot of youtube videos and forwarded messages that came to rescue.  I started seeking guidance from God with some reasoning rather than ‘yes’ or ‘no’. While I waited for a while lingering on the confusion with no hope that the hindering issues will be solved, suddenly I came across Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography, ‘My experiments with truth’.

Reading this autobiography just reinforced me to seek the Truth again. The fear of uncertainty on the unsolved and long standing issues was certainly confusing whether I was on the right path and at right place. But reading and digesting the life of Gandhi the confusion has vanished 🙂 Some quotes which I would like to remember and re-inforce,

‘ I have found by experience that man makes his plans to be often upset by God, but, at the same time where the ultimate goal is the search of truth, no matter how a man’s plans are frustrated, the issue is never injurious and often better than anticipated’

This was the answer for me 🙂

There were certain other quotes which I liked that added as a knowledge and making me extremely humble,

‘That the good of the individual is contained in the good of all. That a lawyer’s work has the same value as the barber’s inasmuch as all have the same right of earning their livehood from their work’

‘Hate the sin and not the sinner’ This which I also realized from JKrishnamurthy’s talk where he says ‘Knowledge in relationship is destructive’. On my introspection into these leads to say, in trying to act intelligently we may think that attaching a character to a person is useful. But overtime am realizing through experiences that a conscious act using the knowledge would cause differences in dealing with people and move one away from humility, truth.  More of these characterization in memory leads to unwanted burden of conversation between thoughts in mind, which becomes a real struggle later.

I also liked Gandhi’s view on parenting Part III, chapter 6, spirit of service (Page:191).  His ways to impart spiritual and litreture teachings for children at  Part IV, chapter 32, As Schoolmaster to chapter 34, Training of the spirit (page:311-318, in my edition).

I also realized the power of vow from this reading. I have taken a vow this Sunday April 17th and it is working wonderfully well though there were some tests. I will wait for couple of months more before I speak about the vow.  I would probably read Bhagvad Gita as well.