What is forgiving someone – wonderfully articulated

Forgiveness can never be complete. When you say, “I forgive”, you think the other person is a culprit. However you do it, a little bit still remains. It’s not complete. But when you see the big picture that the culprit is also a victim, a victim of his/her own mind, ignorance or unawareness, compassion arises from within you. – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Realization

Am realizing that all my understanding is foolish and often wrong. This is in dealing with people, having conversation or building relationships etc. The understandings include all that i have been learning through J Krishnamurthy’s teachings, oneness university, understandings from work, impressions from movies,  learning’s from relationships with various friends etc.

One cannot apply the learning or understanding which is got from relating to one friend or family member to another. It may not work as each person is different. Sometimes it might look that it suits, but that’s the illusion which gives the sense of rightness.

These learning’s/approaches were often looking right and it will remain looking right from my perspective. But it would be very wrong when seen from someone else mind. So I have been illuded by my mind and was such a fool.

People keep changing like a flowing river. I can experience them at the moment only if all the images and understanding from the past die.

Note: I have been using the word ‘I’ to indicate that its perfectly possible for someone to have a contrary realization too, perhaps god only knows 😉

A wonderful story that i read from a mail – The youth and his hands

One young person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV, that the youth’s academic result was excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never was there a year that he did not score.

The director asked, “Did you obtain any scholarship in school?” and the youth answered “no”.

The director asked, “Did your father pay your school fees?”. The youth answered, ”my father passed away when I was one year old and  it was my mother who paid  my school fees”.

The director asked, “Where did your mother work?” the youth answered, “my mother worked as cloth cleaner.” The director requested the youth to show his hands and the youth showed a pair of hands that was smooth and perfect to the director.

The director asked, “Did you ever help your mother wash clothes before?” The youth answered,” never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books, furthermore, my mother could wash clothes faster than I could”

The director said, I have a request, when you go back today, go and help to clean your mother’s hand, and then see me tomorrow morning.

The youth felt that the chance of landing the job was high and when he went back, he happily wanted to clean his mother’s hands. His mother felt strange. With happiness mixed with fear, she showed her hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother’s hands slowly and his tears fell as he did that.  It was the first time he noticed that his mother’s hands were so wrinkled, and that there were  so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful  that she  shuddered when his  mother’s hands were cleaned with water.

This was the first time that the youth realized and experienced that it is this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to earn him the school fees and that the bruises in the mother’s hand were the price that the mother paid for his graduation and academic excellence and probably his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother’s hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, the mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director’s office.

The director noticed the tear in the youth’s eye and asked: ” Can you tell  what  you did and learnt yesterday in your house?”

The youth answered, ” I cleaned my mother’s hands and also finished washing all the remaining clothes’

The director asked, ” please tell me what you felt”

The youth said, “Number 1, I know what appreciation is’. Without my mother, I would not be successful today. Number 2, Now I know how to work together with my mother.  Only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.  Number 3, I know the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said,  “This is what I am asking, I want to recruit a person that can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the suffering of others to get things done, and a person that would not put money as his only goal in life to be my manager. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates, every employee worked diligently and as a team and the company improved tremendously.

A child who has been protected and habitually given whatever he needs,  develops “entitlement mentality” and always puts himself first. He is ignorant of his parent’s efforts. When he starts work, he assumes every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the suffering of his employees and always blame others. These kinds of people, can achieve good results and  may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement or satisfaction.  If we happen to be this kind of (protective) parent, this is the time to ask the question- whether we  did/do love our kids or destroy them.

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn to play the piano, watch a big screen TV but when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plate and bowl together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love and show them the correct way.  You want them to understand that no matter how rich their parent are, one day they will grow old, become weak and that their hair too will grow grey,.

The most important thing is for your kid to learn how to appreciate,  experience and learn the effort and ability needed to work with others to get things done.

They should also value, appreciate what the parents have done and love them for who they are!

First GroupWise mailer patch

I just completed my first gw mailer fix for bug https://bugzilla.novell.com/show_bug.cgi?id=480091  this week and got the following comment from Dave,

‘Mark reported that for the first time ever he ran all day on Evolution with Chens latest stability patch.  Please, let’s get that merged into the the build so that it’s available in all future released.  Excellent work.’

It fixes some crashes in folder operations such as refreshing folders/moving mails across folders etc. Such a comment, makes me happy to provide more fixes.